Claire Swires ...yum.
Read on for 1,600 words of steaming douche-iness that an investment banker sent to a girl he went on one date with, who never returned his calls or texts.
In her words, the date was "horrific".
Deranged, stalkerish, comically douchey. Why can't I meet a guy like this? Girls, be careful how much you twirl your hair.
I'm disappointed in you. I'm disappointed that I haven't gotten a response to my voicemail and text messages.
FYI, I suggest that you keep in mind that emails sound more impersonal,
harsher, and are easier to misinterpret than in-person or phone
communication. After all, people can't see someone's body language or
tone of voice in an email. I'm not trying to be harsh, patronizing, or
insulting in this email. I'm honest and direct by nature, and I'm going
to be that way in this email. By the way, I did a google search, so
that's how I came across your email.
I assume that you no longer want to go out with me. (If you do want
to go out with me, then you should let me know.) I suggest that you make
a sincere apology to me for giving me mixed signals. I feel led on by
Things that happened during our date include, but are not limited to, the following:
-You played with your hair a lot. A woman playing with her hair is a
common sign of flirtation. You can even do a google search on it. When a
woman plays with her hair, she is preening. I've never had a date where
a woman played with her hair as much as you did. In addition, it didn't
look like you were playing with your hair out of nervousness.
-We had lots of eye contact during our date. On a per-minute basis,
I've never had as much eye contact during a date as I did with you.
-You said, "It was nice to meet you." at the end of our date. A woman
could say this statement as a way to show that she isn't interested in
seeing a man again or she could mean what she said--that it was nice to
meet you. The statement, by itself, is inconclusive.
-We had a nice conversation over dinner. I don't think I'm being delusional in saying this statement.
In my opinion, leading someone on (i.e., giving mixed signals) is impolite and immature. It's bad to do that.
Normally, I would not be asking for information if a woman and I don't
go out again after a first date. However, in our case, I'm curious
because I think our date went well and that there is a lot of potential
for a serious relationship. Of course, it's difficult to predict what
would happen, but I think there is a lot of potential for a serious
relationship developing between us one day (or least there was before
your non-response to my voicemail and text messages).
I think we should go out on a second date. In my opinion, our first date was good enough to lead to a second date.
Why am I writing you? Well, hopefully, we will go out again. Even if we
don't, I gain utility from expressing my thoughts to you. In addition,
even if you don't want to go out again, I would like to get feedback as
to why you wouldn't want to go again. Normally, I wouldn't ask a woman
for this type of feedback after a first date, but this is an exception
given I think we have a lot of potential.
If you don't want to go again, then apparently you didn't think our
first date was good enough to lead to a second date. Dating or a
relationship is not a Hollywood movie. It's good to keep that in mind.
In general, I thought the date went well and was expecting that we would
go out on a second date.
If you're not interested in going out again, then I would have
preferred if you hadn't given those mixed signals. I feel led on. We
have a number of things in common. I'll name a few things: First, we’ve
both very intelligent. Second, we both like classical music so much that
we go to classical music performances by ourselves. In fact, the number
one interest that I would want to have in common with a woman with whom
I'm in a relationship is a liking of classical music. I wouldn't be
seriously involved with a woman if she didn't like classical music. You
said that you're planning to go the NY Philharmonic more often in the
As I said, I go to the NY Philharmonic often. You're very busy. It
would be very convenient for you to date me because we have the same
interests. We already go to classical music performances by ourselves.
If we go to classical music performances together, it wouldn't take any
significant additional time on your part. According to the internet,
you're 33 or 32, so, at least from my point of view, we're a good match
in terms of age. I could name more things that we have in common, but
I'll stop here. I don't understand why you apparently don't want to go
out with me again. We have numerous things in common. I assume that you
find me physically attractive. If you didn't find me physically
attractive, then it would have been irrational for you to go out with me
in the first place. After all, our first date was not a blind date. You
already knew what I looked like before our date. Perhaps, you're
unimpressed that I manage my family’s investments and my own
investments. Perhaps, you don’t think I have a "real" job. Well, I’ve
done very well as an investment manager. I've made my parents several
millions of dollars.
That's real money. That's not monopoly money. In my opinion, if I
make real money, it's a real job. Donald Trump's children work for his
company. Do they have "real" jobs? I think so. George Soros's sons help
manage their family investments. Do they have "real" jobs? I think so.
In addition, I’m both a right-brain and left-brain man, given that I’m
both an investment manager and a philosopher/writer. That’s a unique
characteristic; most people aren't like that. I've never been as
disappointed and sad about having difficulty about getting a second date
as I am with you. I've gone out with a lot of women in my life. (FYI,
I'm not a serial dater. Sometimes, I've only gone out with a woman for
one date.) People don’t grow on trees. I hope you appreciate the
potential we have.
Am I sensitive person? Sure, I am. I think it's better to be
sensitive than to be insensitive. There are too many impolite,
insensitive people in the world.
I suggest that we continue to go out and see what happens. Needless
to say, I find you less appealing now (given that you haven't returned
my messages) than I did at our first date. However, I would be willing
to go out with you again. I'm open minded and flexible and am willing to
give you the benefit of the doubt. I wish you would give me the benefit
of the doubt too. If you don't want to go out again, in my opinion, you
would be making a big mistake, perhaps one of the biggest mistakes in
your life. If you don’t want to go out again, then you should have
called to tell me so. Even sending a text message would have been better
than nothing. In my opinion, not responding to my messages is impolite,
immature, passive aggressive, and cowardly. I spent time, effort, and
money meeting you for dinner. Getting back to me in response to my
messages would have been a reasonable thing for you to do. In addition,
you arrived about 30 minutes late for our date. I'm sure you wouldn’t
like it if a man showed up thirty minutes late for a first date with
If you're concerned that you will hurt my feelings by providing
specific information about why you don't want to go with me again, well,
my feeling are already hurt. I'm sad and disappointed about this
situation. If you give information, at least I can understand the
situation better. I might even learn something that is beneficial.
If you don't want to go out again, that I request that you call me
and make a sincere apology for leading me on (i.e., giving me mixed
signals). In my opinion, you shouldn't act that way toward a man and
then not go out with him again. It's bad to play with your hair so much
and make so much eye contact if you're not interested in going out with
me again. I have tried to write this email well, but it's not perfect.
Again, I'm not trying to be harsh, insulting, patronizing, etc. I'm
disappointed, sad, etc. I would like to talk to you on the phone. I hope
you will call me back at xxx-xxx-xxxx> (if it's inconvenient for you
to talk on the phone when you read this email, you can let me know via
email that you are willing to talk on the phone and I'll call you). If
you get my voicemail, you can a leave a message and I can call you back.
Even if you don't want to go out again, I would appreciate it if you
give me the courtesy of calling me and talking to me. Yes, you might say
things that hurt me, but my feelings are already hurt. Sending me an
email response (instead of talking on the phone) would better than no
response at all, but I think it would be better to talk on the phone.
Email communication has too much potential for misinterpretation, etc.
Source: Huffington Post